are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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