well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
