Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
