im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
