Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
