i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
