Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
