oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
