I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
