my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
