So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
