i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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