I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
