pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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