Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
