Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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