Who did Billy Mays play for?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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