my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
