Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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