STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
