yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
