the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
