"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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