Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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