If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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