Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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