My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
