i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
