even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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