i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
