Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
