I just made out with a guy for $7.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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