I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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