The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Soap is not a condiment
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
