I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
