all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
