We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
