We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
