thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
It was confusing and full of hummus
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I got inside last night via doggy door
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
