Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
