it was like having sex with a tree stump
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
