Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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