I hate all girls vehemently.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
