oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
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