Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
