For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
