He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
