we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
