It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
