I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
