we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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