I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
