Fuck appropriateness.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
