I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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